


with a feather

by misura



Category: Jack the Giant Slayer (2013)
Genre: Getting Together, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-04-19
Updated: 2016-04-19
Packaged: 2018-06-03 06:21:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,440
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6600178
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misura/pseuds/misura
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which there are no kissing lessons for anyone.</p>
            </blockquote>





	with a feather

**Author's Note:**

  * For [dreamiflame](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dreamiflame/gifts).



" _Kissing lessons_?" Jack asked. He did not think he needed kissing lessons.

He'd kissed Isabelle several times already. It felt wonderful to kiss Isabelle, much more wonderful than kissing anyone else had felt like, ever. He could not imagine wanting to kiss any other girl - which was not, of course, the same as wanting to kiss any other _person_ , but Jack very determinedly didn't think of that.

After all, even after Jack had saved his life, Elmont had only ever shaken his hand, so there was no way whatsoever Elmont had any interest in kissing him - which was fine, obviously. Jack was going to marry the most wonderful girl in the world. He was, without a doubt, the luckiest man alive right now.

"I _am_ a princess, you know," Isabelle said. Her eyes were twinkling, the way they usually did when she was teasing him, or making a joke. "I was going to marry a man of noble blood."

"You were going to marry Roderick."

She grimaced, which was fair enough. Anyone would grimace at the thought of kissing Roderick.

On the other hand, people did not generally agree to marry people whom they did not want to kiss. "You were _not_ going to marry Roderick," Jack said. That made much more sense, except that everyone had seemed to _think_ that she had been going to marry Roderick.

_I was going to marry a man of noble blood,_ she had said.

"I was sure that he would do something. Or just say something. Anything."

Definitely not Roderick.

"Every time I got into trouble, he'd be there, you know," Isabelle went on. "To protect me. To save me, even when I neither needed nor wanting saving or protecting."

"Like in a story," Jack said. His father had died before Jack had been considered old enough for _those_ kinds of stories; the one time a prince had kissed a princess, it had been to break an evil spell, and Jack had proclaimed it to be 'icky'.

His father had chuckled and told him that he'd change his mind about that when he was older.

His father had been a very wise man. Jack would happily kiss Isabelle a thousand times, even if doing so was not in any way required to break an evil spell.

"And then there was you," Isabelle said.

It dawned on Jack, a bit belatedly, that the person she was talking about was actually a _rival_. An ex-boyfriend, at the very least, except not quite. Someone Isabelle still had the kind of feelings for that led to kissing.

"Me?"

"I think he likes you," she said.

Jack didn't quite know what to think about _that_. "Who?"

"I think you like him back," she said. "Do you?"

_Every time I got into trouble, he'd be there to save me,_ she'd said. _A man of noble blood._

All the Guardians were of noble blood. _That_ law had not been struck, even if Elmont had made it clear that he still considered Jack to be one of them.

"From the moment he told me to kneel," he said. He'd had some mixed feelings about it at the time; it was one thing to fall for a princess-in-disguise who'd at least shown a good taste in entertainment and a sense of humor; all Elmont had shown was the ability to sit on a horse and _not_ stick people with a sword for being a bit slow to show the proper respect to one of royal blood.

"So ask him." Her eyes were twinkling again.

 

"What," Elmont said. He'd been training. His hair was just a bit messy, and his breath was just the tiniest bit uneven.

On a scale of 'ideal' to 'horrible', 'what' definitely ranged above 'never in a million years'. Not by much, but some.

"She's the princess," Jack said. "Isabelle, I mean." Elmont never addressed her by her name, even if Isabelle addressed him by his all the time.

"Yes, I know who she is." Elmont frowned. "And she told you you needed lessons?"

"I - " Someone dedicated to protecting Isabelle from all harm did probably not want to hear that the man she was going to marry needed lessons in kissing her properly. "She - "

"Right," Elmont said. He sounded almost relieved. "Late bloomer. Reader. Well, fair enough."

Late bloomer? "I've kissed girls before!" Jack said. "Lots!"

"Lots," Elmont said. Elmont probably actually _had_ kissed lots of girls, and perhaps a few boys as well, being a Guardian and also rather terrifically good-looking as well as brave, smart and kind.

Well. There was nothing wrong with being experienced, obviously. True love was a wonderful thing, but nobody had ever said you couldn't do anything with anyone else before you found it.

"Several," Jack amended.

"So, two," Elmont said. His expression suggested that he considered this a generous estimate.

Jack decided not to argue the point. He nodded.

Elmont studied his face for a while, looking for ... something. Apparently, he didn't find it.

"I'm not a girl. You want my advice, I suggest you find one of them. We have a few of them around, I believe. Try the kitchen. Be polite, and honest. Remember that they're at work, and that you will be their king one day."

On second thought, Jack decided that 'never in a million years' would have been a perfectly adequate response to his question. _That_ , at least would have been quick.

 

"If I were Elmont," said Isabelle, "what would you do?"

Jack's experience with girls so far indicated that they did not want to hear about the many fine qualities other girls possessed right after you kissed them. None of them had ever solicited any opinions on, say, Bill from the mill, but the principle was surely much the same.

Jack's experience with _Isabelle_ so far indicated that she was not like any girl he had ever known.

Time to take a gamble, clearly. After all, the worst that could happen was that she would dump him, call off the wedding and announce her engagement to Elmont immediately after.

"Suggest you were wearing too many clothes?" In his dreams, maybe.

For a terrifically good-looking, brave, smart and kind guy, Elmont could be a little ... intimidating sometimes. Often. He'd let you down easy, maybe, but if you were a friend, he'd probably tease you about it a bit, and if you got married some time after, he'd probably bring it up in his speech at the feast, right before a subtle threat to everyone present that they'd better behave themselves or else.

"You wouldn't," Isabelle said. She sounded a little breathless, which might be because they'd been kissing, earlier, but she hadn't sounded breathless before, when she'd asked her question.

"No, I wouldn't," Jack admitted. He had no idea what Elmont would be like after kissing someone. (He did have some idea of what Elmont would _look_ like, but that wasn't the same.)

"Shame on you for not taking a girl seriously."

Given that his punishment was, apparently, getting kissed, Jack wasn't sure what lesson she wanted him to take away from here. "Look," he said, in between kisses. "He's ... just ... very - "

"Oh, _very_ ," she agreed, still kissing him.

"But," Jack said, and then he stopped, not because she was kissing him, but because Elmont wasn't, and probably never would, and maybe it was time to accept that and move on.

Real life wasn't a story, and anyway, even in the stories, you only got one happy ending. The hero didn't end up marrying the princess and then after, also kissing the Captain of the Guardians.

"But what? Cat got your tongue, lad?" Isabelle asked. Her Elmont impersonation wasn't very good.

It didn't help that she was soft in places where Elmont would not be soft at all. Of course, Jack didn't exactly have the body of a Guardian, either. He was a farmer; his hands were calloused from working the field, not from sword-practice.

Isabelle's hands were not calloused at all. Even without the armband, anyone with a functional pair of eyes would have known she wasn't some ordinary girl.

Then again, Jack felt he could perhaps be excused for not looking at her hands when he could also have looked at her face.

 

"Guess I'll soon be addressing you as 'Your Highness'," Elmont said.

Jack had not quite succeeded in telling himself it was perfectly all right to seek out Elmont in the training area. Thus, he felt vaguely guilty as well as decidedly attracted.

"Please don't," he said. Should he be addressing Elmont as 'sir'? Probably not. He hoped.

Elmont flashed him a grin that did terrible things to Jack's knees. "Afraid you'll fall down on your face? Never fear; I fully plan on being there to pick up the pieces, if necessary."

Well. There was a vote of confidence. "You're going to stay on then?" Had Elmont really been going to stand by and watch Isabelle get married to Roderick?

All available evidence suggested the answer was 'yes'.

The more important question might be: was Elmont going to stand by and watch Isabelle get married to _Jack_ , except that all available evidence suggested that the answer to that one was 'yes', too.

"Not like there's a better man for the job," Elmont said. "Besides, what else would I do? Take up farming?" His smile indicated it was a joke.

"It's hard work," Jack said.

"Hard, but honest. Isn't that what they say?" Elmont picked up a pair of wooden swords and tossed one to Jack. "Want to have a go?"

_At what?_ was not the right question to ask, much like, "Yes," was not the right answer to give.

Still.

 

Elmont smelled faintly of sweat. Soap, too. His shirt was made of very fine wool.

Jack probably should not have agreed to 'have a go' with him, or at him, or whatever it was that he was supposed to have been agreeing to do with Elmont.

"Jack?" Isabelle sounded upset. A little angry, too.

"He's fine," Elmont said. "A small training accident."

A big accident in Elmont's book probably involved dough. Jack tried to decide whether or not he wanted to make it known that he was conscious and aware of his current position, which was comfortable but not particularly heroic. His head hurt, but only a little.

"You're teaching _him_ ," Isabelle said.

"We've talked about this," Elmont said. "It would be highly inappropriate."

"It would keep you from needing to come rescue me all the time."

"I thought you said you didn't need me to do any such thing," Elmont said. "Why this sudden change of heart, Your Highness?"

" _Isabelle,_ " Isabelle said.

"May I refer you to my earlier comment?"

Jack opened his eyes. He didn't think he'd moved or wriggled or anything, but both Elmont and Isabelle were looking at him when he did. Isabelle looked frustrated; Elmont, like he was a man one would not wish to play cards with. (Jack would have to add that to the list that began with 'sword practice'.)

"Jack. How many fingers am I holding up?" Elmont asked.

"None," Jack said, wondering if it was some sort of trick question.

"See? Good as new," Elmont told Isabelle. "Now, where shall I put him? The floor? The seat by the window? The bed?"

"Do you know, I had _such_ a crush on you when I was younger," Isabelle said.

"The follies of youth." Elmont smiled. "Still, I'll take it as a compliment. Now, your fiance?"

"You would have let me marry Roderick."

Elmont grimaced. It made a man wonder how Roderick had gotten to hold such lofty positions, given how the merest mention of his name had people grimacing all over the place.

Granted, people had presumably not known he'd been planning a bloody coup aided by Giants.

"Well?" Isabelle said.

"Yes," Elmont said. "Satisfied?"

"Hardly."

Elmont's expression took on new dimensions of inscrutability. "I'm sorry to hear that."

"I told Jack he should ask you for kissing lessons."

"Yes," Elmont said. "It did seem slightly out of character for the poor farmer's son turned hero. Tell me, is he very bad at it?"

"Better than you, probably," Isabelle said, which was unkind and also probably not going to work anymore than the 'kissing lessons' ploy had.

Elmont breathed out slowly. "Isabelle," he said. "I truly am sorry about Roderick. If I had known - "

"If you had known that the only man I would even _consider_ marrying was you, yes - do go on."

Elmont stared down at Jack. Jack managed a smile.

"Just some chopped liver then?" Elmont asked. "Shall I simply dump him over the wall?"

"You wouldn't," said Isabelle.

"I would if you orderer me to," Elmont replied. "And if I judged it to be in your and his best interests."

"If I had come to you and told you that I would rather jump out of the window than marry Roderick?"

Elmont sighed. "I would have suggested a fast horse and a better disguise than your usual one."

"And?"

"And most assuredly _not_ have gone with you," Elmont said.

"Liar," said Jack.

"The floor would probably be fine," Elmont said, without actually releasing him.

"I don't want to marry him if it means losing you," Isabelle said softly, and Elmont did not look at her and tell her _You never had me, and you cannot lose what was never yours to begin with_.

"Seconded," Jack said, because he felt he ought to show some support here, and it wasn't going to be for the guy who seemed incapable of accepting his 'happily ever after' even when it was looking at him like Isabelle was doing.

"Well, you certainly can't marry us both," Elmont said. "The law - "

"Take him to the bed," Isabelle said.

Elmont flushed and nearly dropped Jack, which was a bit silly, given that mere seconds ago, he'd suggested putting down Jack there himself.

 

("I'll change it," Isabelle said, many wonderful kisses later. "The law.")

("Right," Elmont said. He looked like he had at the training yard, except that his hair was messier and his shirt was half-unbuttoned. "Who needs a clear line of succession, anyway? No.")

("But - ")

("Jack's the hero. _He_ gets to be the king and do all that fun stuff kings get to do. Me, I'll just enjoy the fun stuff _soldiers_ get to do in times of peace.")

("Sounds good to me," Jack said. In truth, being king sounded more like hard work than fun, but he'd been a farmer for a very long time, so he was confident that he'd be able to handle it.)

**Author's Note:**

> in case you couldn't tell: the lack of Elmont hugs in the movie made me really, really sad. well, not _sad_ , maybe, but ... I wanted hugs, darn it! (and that, supposedly, is why I wrote this fic.)


End file.
